Chard 4 Breakfast
I want to start this entry out by saying : I ain’t here for the fame. I ain’t here for the Instagram followers. And, I certainly ain’t here for random-ass people to send me DMs telling me I need to post more veggies…..like really? I ain’t here for NONE of it. Shut the fuck up. I could never even pretend to be so problematic to a stranger on the internet.
I say this with such aggression because, I’VE ALREADY BEEN THINKING IT, CHAD.
healthy body, healthy mind
Seriously. I’m well aware that I’ve got everything working against me. I’m a Millennial, so I have to love avocado toast. I’m a woman, so of course society tells me I want to be THE MOST thin & maybe healthy, but really, just be thin. I’m almost 35, so you’d better believe I want more fiber in my diet. Trust, I know it all & I’ve heard it all….doesn’t mean it sucks any less to read it / hear it / be told it. Basically everyone needs to shut it & mind their business cause we’re all having a hard time, mmk?
I’ve just been struggling to create & further enjoy things that I actually have interest in – imagine that. *eyerollllll* ((I believe we are all in the phase of “Languishing” in COVID….remember the phases?)) & to make matters worse, this random-ass person that told me my page looks unhealthy, thinks their mean opinion is going to help me? I need to post more veggies? This is why Americans are unhealthy? Everything I post on my page looks fattening? I can’t even tell if they are a man or a woman – but they clearly know allllllll about me & what they think I should be focusing on, but I don’t even have the luxury to wonder why they are being such an asshole to begin with. So, we’ll just leave it at that. Think of this post to be just for them :) – what an accomplishment to troll someone’s Instagram page & then get a WHOLE BLOG ENTRY written about your behavior. Imagine that.
how to deal with it
Whenever someone is being an unnecessary jerk, I always channel the little white kitten, Marie, from Disney’s The Artistocats – “ladies don’t start fights, but they can finish them” it always gives me a little giggle & helps me adjust my crown. I hope you enjoy this entry, you nameless, faceless suggester of veggies to hate on my blog content -- *inhales deeply* I knew it would happen at least once. Probably ain’t the last either. Alas, I will not be out-petty’ed. Oh well. Can’t please ‘em all -- & if you know me, then you know I don’t give 1 shit either way – but I WILL most certainly complain about it first ;)
ANYWAY.
I made this for myself for lunch one day when I was super busy but didn’t want a sandwich or a salad – because, boring. The eggs provided protein & cooked quickly, the Swiss Chard was an exciting different & gave a nod to a salad, and the cheese rounded it all out. This recipe can EASILY be doubled or even tripled for a weekend eating or for a crowd – crusty bread, a side of bacon & fruit – would be perfect. But oh shit, the person in my DMs might be mad about the bacon. fffffff.
I’m actually really excited about what I’m about to share with you because it was SO quick, it was SO filling & it was yummy AND healthy – I already can’t wait to make it again! AND – I used the cast iron skillet! I’m so proud to be showing y’all another great & easy way to use that amazing vessel for something so simple as a scramble – Let’s get to it!
Ingredients
· 2 eggs
· 1 shallot, diced
· 6 grape tomatoes, cut in quarters
· 6-8 stems of Swiss Chard, stripped from the stem & sliced
· ¼ cup milk (any kind you’d like or have on hand!)
· ¼ cup shredded Gouda cheese (any other kind you like or have on hand!)
· 2 TBS Vegetable oil
· S+P & garlic powder, to taste
Instructions
Wash & de-stem the Swiss Chard.
This should create an almost U shape of the leaves – fold them in half & slice them into thin ribbons – set aside.
Preheat your cast iron skillet for a minute or two at medium-high heat – it is such a heavy-bottomed pan that it may take a minute or two for it to truly heat up.
DO NOT POUR OIL IN YOUR CAST IRON SKILLET WHILE YOU WAIT FOR IT TO HEAT UP – THE OIL WILL SMOKE & BURN AND BE NASTY AS SHIT.
Dice the tomatoes & the shallot.
Once your cast iron skillet has heated thoroughly, pour in your vegetable oil & swirl around the pan to coat.
Next, drop in the tomatoes & shallots – stir them around with a wooden spoon to coat in the oil. After just a minute or so the pan should make the tomatoes blister slightly & the shallots translucent – I love how quickly things cook in cast iron!
((I personally like using a wooden spoon in cast iron skillets because it won’t hurt the pan, it won’t melt in the pan & it’s a good scraper!))
Crack your eggs into a bowl, whisk with the milk, season however you’d like – set aside.
Drop in your Swiss Chard by the fistful – stir well to coat in the oil like the other veggies – season generously with S+P & garlic powder.
The Swiss Chard should wilt fast as hell – so its important to have everything ready so you can continue to methodically throw shit into the pan to cook!
((of course this recipe is just fine to embark on if you don’t have a cast iron skillet – don’t be silly. I just enjoyed the tomatoes being blistered & the residual heat from the cast iron cooking my eggs quickly without them browning!))
Once your Swiss Chard is wilted to your liking, turn down the heat to medium-low then carefully pour in your eggs & immediately stir with the wooden spoon.
When your eggs have cooked about halfway, sprinkle in the cheese of your choice – I mean, clearly you’re wrong if you use anything but Gouda in this recipe ;)
The smokiness in the Gouda will be SUCH a compliment to the soft Swiss Chard, the pillowy eggs & the blistered veggies.
Turn off your heat & stir your eggs around to continue to cook them & melt your cheese. It should truly only take 2-3 minutes for a soft scramble – MY FAV.
Feel free to eat straight out of the skillet with a fork if you wish because I’m sure everything will look so healthy, smell so yummy & look so appetizing that you cant resist!
I actually plated my dish because I’m not a barbarian, but hey, do you.
F the haters
Tale as old as time, amirite? It’s so tough, especially lately when the internet is SUCH a big, anonymous place. Doesn’t give anyone the right to be an asshole, especially unsolicited, but whatever. I vent to my boss whenever I’m having a hard day & her response is literally, always : “and you didn’t tell them to go fuck themselves?!” ;) because she knows I will! But, I always laugh & I’m like “I’ve HEARD that’s frowned up & I’m TRYING to work on myself!” – but seriously, it can go both ways, right? Luckily, I used this person’s rude “suggestion” as an opportunity to explore a little more into my day-to-day life and find fun ways to share it with y’all! I hope you enjoy this different recipe that really isn’t so different – just a peek into what I consider healthy, fun & yummy! Be well, ya’ll.
Thanks for stopping by!
I appreciate you stopping by! If you loved it, I’d love to hear from you.
If you hated it, then same.
Have a great day & look for my next entry!
© 2021 Cookin’ & Cussin’
