Cookin' & Cussin'

Mediterranean Pinwheels

I love these snackies. That’s exactly what they are – a snack PACKED with so much flavor & option! They are truly perfect. And delicious. I served these for a summer tea party (beach themed) and they were exquisite!

Of course this is coming from ME, the author, the maker, the conspirator….too much?

No, but seriously, I know whipped feta has been ALLLLLLL the craze lately & I’m SO fucking here for it. A craze that has seemed to last an entire year?!

Whip it Good

Whipped Feta is unlike any other spread I’ve ever had in my life. It is so utterly perfect & delicious. Let me tell you why :

• Whipped Feta is smooooooth as butter

• It is a semi-blank canvas to throw all your tasty desires to and whatever you come up with will probably work!

• It lasts a long time.

• It can be a dip! A spread! A vehicle for other things!

I really don’t feel like I need to wax on entirely, but hopefully you get my point.

Summa Summa Summatime

Summer is *here* and I’m ready for all the warm-weather foods.

AKA the foods that we don’t spend hours slaving over a hot stove or oven for. The foods that can be thrown together in a jiff and still be insanely delicious. Food that can be eaten 10 times over but paired with different foods makes them seem brand new! Yea, its that kind of good.

So of course I saw a million different variations of “whipped feta” so I decided to try my own hand at it – and THEN *Southernism* it, but of course.

I kept seeing Whipped Feta be pulverized with olive oil, lemon juice & some honey……that’s it? I also saw it thinly spread over puff pastry & baked….ok getting better. And THEN I saw it slathered on a sandwich paired with spicy arugula, Mortadella & an olive relish….the olive relish is NOT my thing but hey, I can appreciate all the flavor combos there.

So clearly I decided I, too, could make this unique and my own!

So I did.

I had planned a sweet tea party with some girlfrands and the theme was “Beach Day” – so I was thinking, snacks you would take to the beach! These would be perfect!

They can be made ahead of time, kept cool in the fridge or cooler, pop-able in your mouth, and no need for utensils – oh yea, it was all coming together. *wink*

get to the good part

I obviously wanted something ELSE to go with this delicious whipped feta…..but what could I do to tie the theme together without going overboard?

Well, my Tuscan Chicken recipe is DELICIOUS and is an easy base as well – chopped garlic, chopped sundried tomatoes & chopped artichokes. PERFECT.

Then I wanted something else to really set this apart – SALAMI.

So basically, these Mediterranean Pinwheels can be made 3 ways – plain Feta, Vegetarian (Feta & Tuscan base) and then ALL 3. Heavenly. I had a plan. A major plan that would change the course of the summer and alllllllll the parties to come along with it! This was going to be huge!

Who knew?! 1 appetizer to rule them all! To please the masses. To make Vegan & Vegetarian peoples feel included! Unless you’re allergic to Feta and then, well shit, sorry pal I’ve got nothing for you. MOVE ALONG.

So yea. No weird, long backstory about how I dreamed about this food for awhile or was pelted relentlessly with Instagram Reels. Just saw this a few times, thought it looked delicious, and had to jazz it up and spread the good word!

I promise I’m not getting boring on you – just spitting facts & sometimes, my facts don’t have a drawn-out story about how an idea or recipe came to be. Just be grateful you don’t have to read any weird shit from me today.

Let’s Get To It!

Ingredients

• 4 Oz Feta, BLOCKED. (don’t try to buy a box of crumbles, that shit won’t fly)

• 2 Lemons, Juiced & Zested

• ½ cup Plain Greek Yogurt, I used NonFat

• ¼ cup Olive Oil

• 2 TBS Sundried Tomatoes in Oil

• 6 Marinated Artichoke Hearts

• 2 Cloves Garlic

• 12-16 slices Salami, your choice

• 6-8 Flour Tortillas, size is your choice but I used Taco size (about 8” round)

Instructions, 1

Firstly, we will construct our Whipped Feta.

In a chopper or Food Processor, measure out the Feta chunks & Greek Yogurt and empty into the chopper.

Next, wash & zest the 2 lemons directly into the chopper.

((I like to zest first, for obvious reasons – just think about it))

Juice the 2 lemons also into the chopper.

Pulse the chopper on low to get everything going.

Everything in the chopper is pretty “solid” but you definitely don’t want to add the olive oil and drown out all the flavors or make your whipped feta too thin.

Continue to pulse to have everything come together (kinda) and you can see what kind of consistency you’re workin with.

DRIZZLE in the Olive Oil 1 TBS at a time – trusttttt meeeeee you want this consistency to be thick (like hummus) because this will be SPREAD onto your tortillas!

Continue to Pulse and Drizzle the Olive Oil TBS by TBS until your consistency looks like my pictures *wink*

Basically if you stick a spoon in, it should relatively stay on the spoon and not be running off.

YAY you just made Whipped Feta!

Empty the Whipped Feta into your airtight container of choice.

Instructions, 2

If you are doing the Vegetarian route, then rinse out the chopper and measure out the garlic, sundried tomatoes & artichoke hearts.

Add all 3 of those ingredients into the chopper and pulse to a rough chop.

Next, lay out as many tortillas as you’d like to use – if you ONLY wanted the whipped feta to go on then you’re golden!

If you are wanting to go HARD and do the Vegetarian OR entire ingredient list then you’re also in the right place!

Either way, you will start by neatly and thinly schmearing the Whipped Feta over the entirety of the tortilla – leave 1” around the entire edge so it doesn’t get completely smushed out when you roll it up!

Once again, if you were here for the Whipped Feta only party, you can leave.

JK just spoon out your Whipped Feta onto the tortilla, roll gently and slice into pinwheel shapes!

TA-DA! Whipped Feta Pinwheels – delicious!

If you are wanting the Veggies, then stay tuned – it’s the same first step, schmear the Whipped Feta, next lay out 4 salami (side-by-side, in a box) in the center of the tortilla and THEN spoon out about 1 heaping TBS of the veggie mix – trust me, you don’t want these pinwheels to be OVERLY stuffed because then they look ugly & messy when you cut them!

Repeat until you are happy :)

Serve immediately! Or store in a waxed paper-lined Tupperware for 2 days – you don’t want the tortillas to become a gross, soggy mess – because they will.

Enjoy! Take these anywhere! Have them immediately! Eat them on the couch, on the beach, on your back porch with some sort of alcoholic spritz!

Close your eyes – sit in the sunshine & feel the Mediterranean air kiss your face! Or if you’re not imaginative, just savor the fruits of your labor & let me know how you liked them!

Life on the Mediterranean

I seriously felt SOME TYPE OF WAY when I ate these. & that way was glorious.

I had made the variation of all 3 types I mentioned above – the consensus was that everyone liked the TOTAL she-bang (salami, veggies & whipped feta) but the whipped feta by itself was truly and simply just *chefs kiss* -- I really don’t know what it is, I think its just the plain freshness of Whipped Feta.

The lemon juice & zest was other-wordly, the salty & slight briny-ness of the fresh CHUNK Feta proved to be the absolute best. The Greek Yogurt gave it a richness (plus extra protein, hellurrrr) and it was all just a silky GOODNESS.

I sincerely hope you enoyed this journey – I mean, summer is here, so you might as well go with the flow. Picnics, Beach Trips, & Fathers Day is coming up!

In closing, enjoy life’s small whims – I’ll bet this will be one of them! Happy Summer!