Mele Kalikimaka Pizza

*breathes deep* -- AHHHH Christmas is hereeee! Time for Joy & Time for Cheer!

But forreal – whenever I hear that song by Bing Crosby, I instantly think of Clark Griswold’s goofy ass in Christmas Vacation with the infamous the pool scene and Hawaiian pizza – in no particular order. Christmas Vacation is Chris’ faaaavorite movie so it usually makes a debut (or 4) around the Christmas season in our living room.

I know we have debated before – when I say we, I mean I – about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza…..well, just to make things clear & easy, this is my fucking blog afterall, so I say it does :) I realize a lot of people just aren’t fans of savory & sweet being on the same plate or in the same bite – but when its jazzed it up all the way to full-speed, aren’t you even willing to try??

I decided to dedicate myself to come up with an “elevated AF” Hawaiian Pizza that will blow your socks off – and maybe even Santa’s hat! Sweet pineapple pieces, chunky ham tossed in a BBQ-Coffee spice rub, a bite of sharp shallot, a mix of sweet & tangy pizza sauce & a healthy smattering of melty cheese to hold it all together! – tell me you aren’t having your imagination run wild right now – dats right!

you know I got the sauce —

you know I’m sauce-ayyyyye.

I realize Hawaiian Pizza has been done a millllionnn different ways by a millllionnn different people – but isn’t that the beauty of finding a new recipe? It might bring some twists to the table that you actually haven’t seen before – mine might be one of them!

So, gather round readers, it’s story time – back when I was in college at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, there was this amazing, shit-hole pizza joint (that still exists today, bless its heart) called DelVecchios. Back then (& probably still today) we thought we were cool & shortened it to DelVeccs. They sold $1 New York style pizza slices that were large, delicious, quick, & always in my budget. Unfortunately, DelVeccs is not the star of this story, but you should still remember the name & visit.

BUT YET ANOTHER shit-hole pizza joint was literally a stone’s throw away, (or, across the parking lot) and that gem was called ChiChos. ChiChos didn’t have shit on DelVeccs – except for their sauce. ChiChos pizza sauce was unreal. I think about it all the time. I’ve tried to replicate it; I swear it can’t be done. Tangy, Smoky, Sweet, Tomato-ey, Spicy, Thick, Robust – all in a college-town pizza place! The sauce is insanely good & clearly I have issues with this fact because I haven’t had ChiChos pizza in 5+ years but yet here we are, dredging up memory lane for a blog entry about a damn pizza.

ANYWAY – the exciting part, is that this pizza sauce that I half-heartedly dabbled with flavors for, came out to be, dare I say, QUITE SIMILAR to ChiChos – and for that I am the most grateful & excited. Please see below for my concoction of this most blessed sauce.

wait, there’s more!

Trader Joe’s has done & did it again. I have found yet another damn sauce that I am in love with and have forced a partnership with other sauces to make my own, brand-new sauce. Ya’ll know the damn drill : #Southernism -- I’m not even mad, it’s amazing. & you won’t be mad either when you stop bitchin’ & whinin’ about your assumptions with Hawaiian Pizza – introducing, Sweet & Spicy Pineapple BBQ Sauce. It gives it an unassuming “umph” with the exact wording of “sweet & spicy” that you’d expect, but with neither one overpowering the other. My parting words are : find this sauce, covet it, make it your own, & for God’s sake….go find yourself a ChiChos pizzeria & also try their sauce because, DAMN.

Ingredients

· 1 Wewalka Thin Round Pizza Crust

· 4 oz Smithfield Honey Cured Ham Steak, cubed

· ½ can Pineapple TidBits, drained & save some juice!

· 2 shallots, sliced thin

· 4 oz shredded Gouda Cheese

· 4 oz shredded Mozzarella Cheese

· ¾ cup Pizza Sauce – any brand, your pick!

· ¼ cup Trader Joe’s Sweet & Spicy Pineapple BBQ Sauce

· 2 TBS Trader Joe’s BBQ Coffee Spice Rub, divided

· ¼ TSP garlic powder

· ¼ TSP cumin

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees & set your pizza dough in the freezer for about 10 minutes – this will help with the ease of rolling it out & assembly.

Cut your Smithfield Ham Steak into respectable-sized cubes – no, I don’t know what-the-hell-size “respectable” means but….not to big, but not too small. Like, a size that would look good on a pizza & fit in your mouth.

That’s what she said.

Drain your Pineapple TidBits & reserve about 2 TBS of the juice.

In a small bowl, mix together your jarred pizza sauce with the pineapple BBQ sauce & the garlic powder and cumin – stir well & give it a taste! It should taste like Christmas-Hawaii heaven.

UnRoll your Pizza dough onto a pizza stone or a circular pan with parchment paper underneath.

Next, spread your amazing sauce alllllll over your pizza crust. Put it on thick, put it on thin – I don’t care just put it on & enjoy the hell out of it.

Next, using the same small bowl you used to make your sauce, combine your pineapple juice, ham cubes & 1 TBS of the BBQ Coffee Spice Rub – stir well to combine. This will also smell of Christmas-Hawaii heaven.

Now comes the fun part – assembly!

I personally believe that the best pizzas have cheese on the sauce & cheese on the top – just make sure the shallots are underneath the cheese so they don’t burn the hell up.

So, in my professional opinion, the order of operations should be as follows : sauce, baby-sprinkle of cheese, shallots, pineapple tidbits, ham cubes, MOAR CHEESE. It will look like a Christmas miracle even before you bake it! I also like to mix the mozzarella & the gouda together before I toss it on so every bite has double the cheesy goodness.

If you’re feeling extra fancy & festive, give an extra sprinkle or two of the Trader Joe’s BBQ Coffee Spice Rub overtop your entire pizza to give it an extra kick!

Bake your pizza for 20-25 minutes – but watch it because we have established that all ovens’ cooking times are different — your crust will be tantalizingly brown, cheese will be melty & the sweet aroma of Hawaii will dance around the kitchen. You won’t regret this pizza & neither will whomever you decide to share it with – Todd & Margo next door, perhaps?

It’s a Christmas Miracle!

The holidays are supposed to be full of fun, festivities, GREAT food, gatherings & traditions. I totally believe in following traditions (be on the lookout for my Christmas Eve post – 100% family recipe & tradition growing up!) but sometimes, you might want to add in your own tradition or two -- & I’m totally here to support that! If this pizza piques your interest enough to make it into your holiday tradition rotation, I’d be forever flattered. If you’re Frank Shirley & want to stick to the same old boring-ass Jelly of the Month Club, then don’t worry about it & same.

Thanks for stopping by!

I appreciate you stopping by! If you loved it, I’d love to hear from you.

If you hated it, then same.

Have a great day & look for my next entry!

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